Many parents reach agreement about children after separation. The harder part is often making that agreement stable, practical, and clear — especially if circumstances change later. One common question is whether you need a lawyer to put parenting arrangements in place.
This article explains when a lawyer can be helpful, when it may not be necessary, and the practical difference between informal agreements, parenting plans, and parenting orders.
When parents often don’t need a lawyer
In some families, parents communicate respectfully and can agree on routines without conflict. In those situations, you may not need a lawyer to reach agreement about day-to-day arrangements — especially in the early months while things are settling.
An informal agreement may be workable where:
- There is low conflict and both parents are cooperating.
- The arrangement is relatively straightforward.
- Both parents understand the routine and follow it consistently.
- There are no safety concerns.
The key limitation is that informal arrangements are not legally enforceable in the same way as court orders. If problems arise later, you may need to formalise arrangements to create clarity and enforceability.
When legal advice becomes more important
Legal advice is commonly helpful when there is uncertainty, ongoing disagreement, or a risk that arrangements won’t be followed. It can also help when you want to formalise an agreement so it is clearer and more stable over time.
A lawyer may be particularly helpful if:
- You want parenting arrangements to be legally binding (for certainty and enforceability).
- Communication is strained or agreements keep breaking down.
- There are safety concerns (including family violence, coercive control, or risks to a child).
- There is disagreement about decision-making for schooling, medical issues, or travel.
- One parent is regularly not following an agreed schedule.
- You are considering relocation or travel that may affect time arrangements.
Parenting plans vs parenting orders
Parents often hear “parenting plan” and “parenting orders” used interchangeably, but they work differently.
- A parenting plan is a written agreement between parents. It can be flexible and practical, but it is not enforceable like court orders.
- Parenting orders are legally binding. They can be made by consent (without a contested hearing) or by the Court if agreement isn’t possible.
If you’re weighing which option fits your situation, this comparison can help:
Can you apply for consent orders without a lawyer?
Yes. Some parents prepare and file consent orders without a lawyer. However, the practical risk is usually not the filing step — it’s drafting terms that are clear, workable, and unlikely to create conflict later.
Even where parents agree, limited legal advice is sometimes used to:
- Check the wording is clear and enforceable.
- Ensure the arrangement reflects the child’s routine (school, activities, sleep).
- Reduce ambiguity around holidays, travel, and changeovers.
- Avoid terms that are difficult to follow in real life.
Common pitfalls when people DIY parenting orders
Many parenting disputes aren’t about the big principles — they’re about unclear details. Common drafting issues include:
- Vague time terms (for example, “reasonable time” without a schedule).
- No clear changeover plan (time, location, and who attends).
- Unclear holiday arrangements (start/end times, alternating years).
- No method for agreeing variations (leading to repeated arguments).
- Rules that are too rigid to work in real life (creating repeated ‘technical’ breaches).
Frequently asked questions
Do courts require parents to have lawyers?
No. Parents can represent themselves. Whether a lawyer is helpful depends on conflict level, complexity, and the need for certainty or safety protections.
If we agree, do we still need consent orders?
Not always — but formalising an agreement can reduce future risk, especially if circumstances are likely to change or trust is low. The right option depends on your family and how reliably agreements are followed.
Are parenting orders permanent?
Parenting orders remain in place unless changed by agreement (for example, updated consent orders) or by further court order. Many families adjust arrangements over time as children grow and routines change.